Just another day, perhaps a memorable day. And it's not because it's the day after my birthday, which falls on the 22nd of this very month, that I hate to celebrate, but rather, it's a random introspective realization that struck me. And no, it's not the realization that I have some telekinetic superpower like that of X-Men's Magneto which I wish was true, it's the assertion of Human Behavior in reference with his desires. Mind the way I write, it's kinda raw I fathom.
Oh yes! That brings me to yet another philosophical point which might be trivial but worth consideration. I also wanted to discuss it with someone but with whom? Anyway, it's how we are possessed and manipulated by our own desires. Here, I'm also including the desire to pursue greatness, the desire to succeed, the desire for lust and so on. It's quite offending to those people who'd say, "Then why do we live in the first place?" which to me, is total shit. Because these desires emerged at a certain point in our lives or after observing certain person. All of these things are transient and wither out of the blue. Just like Evolution, our desires also evolve. As kids, we desired toys, food and all. Not to mention the Beyblade I wanted (it was such a nice one). I mean, why aspire something we know will fade away and give it's place to another? Unfortunately, lot of people can't overcome it as it's the made-up foundation of their 'happiness'. Not knowing that happiness might be a hoax. I presume Hedonists will find my views quite contradictory and fugue but we all have our own perception towards life.
But then what's Eternal?
What should we desire of?
If I said life, as that's what you might expect me to say, would that also weave someone who hates his life? Then what in the world in that case would provide him true happiness?
It really makes me laugh that humans are entrapped in such spectrum of misery not because it was bestowed upon them, no, but because they see it as misery. Or take it this way- until death, every loss is psychological.
It's too late, grasp what you want but only after actually questioning yourself and asking, What is it that I actually want?
The answer might sound no different as before but the sheer burden of regret will be extinguished from everyone else's shoulders and charged straight to you in case if it's a whim.
Can't believe I turned 17 and thinking all this at such age makes my stomach hurt as that compels me to give up any desires upfront which I'm afraid, I shall do.And I almost forgot, while walking home I spilled the beans with life(it means to share secrets). And that's too lovely to be a fantasy. I also cleared some of my lurking doubts. The only thing missing was some orchestra like that of Hans Zimmer's Time from Inception but I believe that much can be compromised with. So anyways, the conversation went as follows :
My Question to Life :
Oh Life, you stick with people from the start but in disguise and facade, why? You never showed them what it means to be you. The people would fantasize you till their death, why life, why do you hide?
Her Answer :
Oh human! I do not hide, don't you dare accuse me with such gruesome crime. Why would I put them into such misery as though they have feast before them yet starve dead?
You don't know. Actually they don't see me. They never did. They refuse. Tell me Oh Human, Am I that ugly to you?
My Answer :
Oh Life! you say ugly? How would I tell you that millions ask for you- Warriors, Rich and Poor, Kings and Queens, Peasants and Nobleman, and so on. Dead! All of them! So will I ask for you. Your aren't ugly, it's just people don't know your beauty.
Her Question :
But tell me, Am I then supposed to keep providing them without any appreciation in return? They think it's their desire which suffices them. Alas!
I am their partner till death, I deserve more don't I?
My Answer :
Oh Life! how miserable these people are! But don't you worry, I'll take care of you just the way you want. I am different from them, I swear.
Come to me. Remove that mask. Show me your face. I'll die for such face.
Her Final Answer :
I wish what you say was true. You don't mean it. I was the companion of billions. All of them are same, so are you. What good will your lies do?
You too are human. I despise you all. And unlike you, I mean what I say. Begone! You humans don't deserve to see me or know how I actually look. Till now, you all died in misery and you will so on...
[Saying that she faded away]
The main takeaway is that I wish I weren't human as it's too late for any therapy. The clock is ticking. It won't stop the minute you die, it never did for anyone. Find the the life whose very lap you're sleeping on. We suffer without any cause. So find the true happiness which will break you free from this misery and sorrow.
This might be my last blog as I'm tired of all this. Writing these words, these pleas and all. It's up to you now. Will you find your happiness in life? And what does happiness mean actually?
This is Moazim, signing off with Good Luck to the Readers. Farewell👋
-By Moazim
Notes from the dungeon.
The VORTEX
Email: moazimfarooq8@gmail.com
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